Blog #5 My Second Born Son

In April of 2004, my second son Myles was born. He too, was beautiful and perfect. I also took the same obedient care of myself as I did with my sweet Dylan. I remember my mom telling me, "You are the best pregnant person I have ever known."

Dylan was the MOST DIFFICULT BABY EVER!

Myles came along and he was a breeze. Easy going, laid back, and a completely just "chill" baby.

Let me begin by saying- this Myles of mine is an amazing kid. He has my heart! His arms are wrapped around it at least 100 times! He is my twin. Heart and soul we are the same. He is my guy. Shopping for new vans or chucks? Check! Concert partner? Check! Funky, retro, artsy fartsy? Check! We are in sync. This child is my identical best friend! We are both really weird, and that's our thing.

I think we all have a thing, and I think all parents of multiple children feel as if they have more in common with one than they do the others. Are they your favorite?

Some without kids may say this, but as a mom of multiple children, we know we love them all the same, but we have more in common with some...just like friends or people we work with.

So, back to my Myles. My retro kid. My old soul. My sensitive, big-hearted boy. My hipster.

He was an easy baby. Normal baby stuff, slept through the night by 5 weeks, totally chill. He was a little chunk and always a delight; super cute too I might add.

He grew beautifully. No huge major medical problems with this guy. A diagnosis of asthma a little later but completely manageable.

As he went through school he began having a difficult time keeping his grades up. We did all the appropriate things- extra credit, studying, tutoring...none of these seemed to help.

By fourth grade we were severely struggling. Passing was not an easy task, so, to the pediatrician we went.

Myles was put on medication for ADD. Now guys, I hate this title. I wish there was a better, more appropriate, less contradicting word for this.

Myles was already struggling in his own mind with not being able to make the grades he wanted or was completely capable of making. He was down on himself. No matter how hard he tried he just could not achieve what he wanted. A diagnosis that drags along all the assumptions that it does; this was a blow to his ego. Enter sad mamma's heart here.

However; his grades began to improve, and this made my little guy happy, which in turn made mamma's heart happy.

We did struggle quite a bit. We did go through several medications before finding the appropriate one. We did struggle with appetite. My chunky, cute, full faced boy went to being very thin and was always coming home with the same lunch I had packed him that morning. Finding a healthy balance was tough. And although the medication was helping in school, it was making him a zombie personality wise...

Eventually, everything balanced out. We found the right medication, the right dose, and I found my sweet, funky boy.

If you're struggling with this- keep working until you find the right balance for you AND your child! It's a lot of work. Its exhausting, but just remember that you're doing it for them.

Now, Im going to rewind just a little bit... as easy and happy as Myles was, he was always easily frustrated, easy to anger, and was upset very easily- sometimes by things that you did not even understand why it bothered him.

As Myles grew older, we learned that this was pretty severe anxiety. This also followed with pretty severe depression. This became such a problem that we did have to seek the help of professionals. Medications, therapy, and lots of mommy watch was what he got.

At one point in junior high, he was also the target of some pretty intense bullying. He was punched and had things thrown at him.

Once, I was picking him up from school and witnessed another student throw something at him as he walked to my car. The action that the school DID NOT take I will keep to myself.

These are the things that I speak of. These are the things that happen to our children. These are the things they do not tell you. When they hurt, you will hurt a thousand times more. When I saw that child throw something at my son, I wanted to get out of my car and do something equal to that. How dare you treat another human like that?! How dare you think that it is ok to treat any person like that, no matter what they have done! My heart truly broke for my son that day.

So now for the sunshine...

Myles is almost 15 years old and a freshman in high school. His big brother is a senior. He made it through all of his struggles.

Lots of support, lots of love and encouragement; not to mention a big brother that will kick anyone's ass for him! He is having a wonderful high school year. He continues to take medication for ADD, but not for anything else. He is happy and healthy. He is funky, and quirky, and completely his OWN person. He is different and he embraces it and is proud of who he is. He is becoming a remarkable person, and I could not be more proud of who he is.

Guys, that kid is just like me, and as he has gotten older, I would like to say that I have helped him to embrace who he is and who he wants to become.

No sports for this kid, unless you include bikes and skateboards, and he would rather be on the computer all day (sometimes helping me with my blog site) or reading and drawing. Let me also add that this kid can draw!

So my Myles is kicking ass and taking names! Embracing who he is and who he wants to become, and he doesn't give a shit what anyone thinks anymore, and that my friends is beauty. Truly embracing one's self...that is sunshine.

He is just my super cool, very special and funky kid, and I couldn't love him more!

Kiss your babies!