Love is Love is Love

#wifeyforlifey #wlw #lesbian #gay #loveislove #beyoutiful #findyourhappy #momvibes #boymom #wifey

Did you know that I have an amazing wife? Because I do, and she is beautiful, and kind, and supportive, and understanding, and hilarious, and just amazing for me. She is everything I always wanted. She's my best friend and we worked and continue to work hard to build a life we love.

Did you know that although she and I have built this amazing dream, most did not know that this was even a dream I have had since I was young? My dream of having the wife and a family that I have now was simply just a dream not long ago. I knew it was what I wanted, but when I was young I just did not believe that it was possible. And if it were possible, it most definitely was not acceptable.

Do I regret what I went through in the past to finally get me to my dream? Absolutely not. Do I wish I had known what I know now? No. I got my four beautiful boys and became closer to who I am today.

Getting here was not easy; however, once I made the decision to be happy, truly happy, and I realized that my boys would be happier with a happier mom, I ran in fury towards the door to create everything I have ever wanted and never looked back at where I came from. I was so focused in fact, that I didn't care to inform people or let them know what was happening. Why did I need to "come out?" That concept I simply don't understand. Why do I have to make it a point? Why does, "I simply love this person" need an explanation when it's a person of the same gender? People love people. Why is this so difficult? When can love just be love?

Aside from beliefs and religions and all of the reasons "they" say are wrong and do not agree with "love is love," why is this still such a hard concept, and why do people in this country still feel that they can dictate others, based on religion in a "free" country that apparently has "freedom of religion" with religious beliefs that we do not all live by or believe?!

And now that that is out of my system, I can get back to where I was😜

Anyway, I have known since high school that I wanted a relationship with a woman, and I did throughout my life off and on, in the quiet, behind closed doors, even at times when I was married to a man. (The husband at the time was aware). I went through relationships with men in a way that was sort of erratic and incomplete simply because I was looking for love, but I never found the truest love because in the end I was not looking for a man. So, I made mistakes attempting to do what was expected of me and take the "American dream" steps (education, marriage, kids, house) and did it all wrong. And that's ok. And it was no surprise to myself when at 36 I finally made the decision to get out of where I was miserable, and jump into a life change that some would call crazy. Now this was not the only reason I left my marriage; however, I don't think that those reasons will ever be discussed. This is a public blog, and I do keep my children in mind when I write, and those things they simply do not need to know.

But I got out. I had to relearn who I was on the inside. I had to remember and search for who I used to be. I'm wild, carefree, spontaneous, funny, exciting, creative, smart. I'm a good, no a great mom, I love wholeheartedly, I'm forgiving- sometimes too much, and I embrace the world and the people in it as they come, no expectations, and I wish the world would do the same. And the thing is, you don't realize how easy it is to lose yourself in this world that is so full of expectations about who we should be and what we should do. I tried so hard to be that person, that I had ultimately lost myself. I was so lost. And it took such a long time. Slowly I began to remember. And my now wife... she encouraged me every step, and she embraced every silly and goofy moment, every hard and sad moment, and she pushed me to be my original self. And she loved every single piece of me, and she still does. She understands pieces of me that people never will, even if I tried to explain it to them. And she listens to me if she doesn't understand until she does, because she's my person. And every single day I am more myself than ever. My kids love their silly, crazy mom. They come to me for everything, and they talk to me about every single thing, because I will never judge them and I will always encourage them to be who they want to be. I have no expectations of them. By example, my kids are becoming amazing people, and it is definitely not because I make decisions for them or I am strict. We talk about everything, we discuss possibilities and consequences and then I ultimately let them make their own decisions, and it's always a good one. I let them make mistakes and learn from those mistakes. I don't do everything for them. I let them be responsible for themselves, and as adults they will do the same.

Anyway, I am living the dream; well, my dream, and I encourage every single person to do the same. Make your heart happy. It's worth it for yourself. At the end of this life, I just want to know I did everything I wanted to, I loved who I wanted to, and that I made a stamp on the memories of those I love and the ones that mean the most to me.